If a man's Venus is in Aries, he is often attracted to a tomboyish woman, perhaps athletic in appearance, but more importantly, direct, forthright, and straightforward. Ultra sensitive or shy women are not usually the most attractive women to these men, as they tend to prefer strong and independent types.
So where the heck does my taurus come in? I am so fire sign oriented and attracted to such strong personalities that it's making it hard to find something that lasts. I say I'm never going to settle, but maybe it's about time to find a women that is less brash and become less brash myself. Too bad attraction isn't rational. If I could choose who I was attracted to, settling would be so much easier.
Then again, yesterday a friend that I work out with at the gym helped me with a problem. I locked my keys in the trunk of my G35 coupe, and while pop a lock opened my door, when the alarm goes off, the trunk buttons disable. I was frustrated as hell, and she came out and essentially said, "get your manual". She read through it and we ended up figuring out you can get to the trunk by, literally, taking out the back seat cushions. There is a little release that is hard to get to if you don't take out the seats. She spent a good 20-30 mins, when she damn well didn't have to, helping me out.
Anyway, the whole point of the story is that this woman is quite awesome. Except for the fact that I'm a bit...abrasive for her and she's a bit understated for me. I offend her quite easily, which is quite annoying, but we get along great during our runs. I warm up with her twice a week, and we get along fine at the gym. She's resourceful, successful, funny, liberal, loves wine and food, and is the only woman that comes close to being as beautiful and sexy as my ex is. If she was maybe 3 inches taller, she'd give my ex a run for her money. So yeah, she is such a nice person, and other than she's in a not very good long distance relationship, I wonder if I toned down a bit from the beginning if I would have a chance. Definitely not gonna happen now (more likely if ever, but I still can have a crush!), but it got me thinking. Maybe I need to change. Put out some of my fire. At my age, it seems there are fewer and fewer women that seem to get my humor, accept my vulgarity, and don't get offended easily. I'm not in college anymore and I don't want to spend my life alone even though I know I could if I had to.
So I think I am going to tone it down now so that I make myself more appealing to a broader base of women. As with all relationships, every person will have their faults, and you need to decide if those are things you can accept and if the person is worth it to accept their faults. I know I could accept a woman who doesn't have the fire I'm quite attracted to, as long as she was nice (but not TOO nice) and respected me. And in return, I can be... just less. I've changed so much this year, and this would be another big change for me, but maybe it needs to be done. I don't think it would be so bad to turn the burner down just a notch.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Astrology Analysis of the Day: Mercury
Today I'm gonna talk about my Mercury which is, to sum it up quickly, the way I communicate.
Recently, I was curious if an old ex was still in love with me. So, of course, I just ask. Wasn't quite the answer I hoped for, but the point is that if I want to know something I'm going to ask. Maybe it is instant gratification and is something I need to work on, but I can't keep questions looming in the back of my mind for very long.
Not only did I ask if she was still in love with me, but I asked some other personal questions regarding the last several months. None of my business in general, but I was jealous, felt the need to know, and acted. Whoops. Big mistake. So what did I take from this experience. Not everyone understands why I communicate the way I do and I should be more conscious of that. I'm rarely in situations where my style of communication comes across so badly that things go sour and can't recover, so I don't think about it much. Well, yesterday seemed like one of those times and while I'd love more practice knowing when I can blurt things out and when to be a little more reserved, the other party may not be so willing to partake in my "practice". Just another thing I need to be aware of. Note taken.
Streamline learning. Ask my dance instructor, any of my music teachers, people that try to teach me in general, I am not a fan of useless details. Get to the point. My dance instructor will have me doing the same steps over and over again to work on my muscle memory. The whole time I'm thinking, "Jesus woman, I can work on muscle memory on my own. Show me the fun stuff!". I do that often, but I should be more accepting of a person's style of teaching and let them teach what they're good at. If I did, maybe I wouldn't suck so much at all my hobbies...
I've gotten pretty good at accepting negative feedback. Being in debate in high school and college, feedback and constructive criticism where part of the game. The issue for me is not negative feedback, it's how the criticism is offered. There are some ways that people can talk to me that push my buttons, but I'm pretty good at accepting criticism overall.
I also pride myself in being able to motivate and excite when put in a leadership type position. The problem is finding things that excite me, but when I find it, I'm ready to go. I, unfortunately, have had very few leadership opportunities, which could explain my lack of motivation on a professional level. Several years ago I was put in a quasi leadership position and was gaining lots of respect. I then decided it wasn't for me and quit. Great experience though. I'd love to be a leader at something. Don't know if it's my ego or what, but I like the respect that comes along with a leadership position. Maybe, when all is said is done, that is all I really want from anyone that I communicate with. Respect.
The last paragraph showed itself in action yesterday. Not my best quality but, to me, having no real details of course, a decision that an old friend needs to make seemed simple and straight forward and I treated it as such. Well, it appears to be more difficult than I thought, which is a shame. No matter what I feel, I need to learn to be more accepting of a lot of things. Letting people make their own decisions regardless of what makes sense to me could be a start.
There are a lot of things about my communication style which I really like, but there are also many things that I don't. While I like that I get to the point, I sometimes don't like how I get there. I need to be a lot more conscious of the person I am speaking to and his/her communication style. While it may be true that people's communication style is learnt from their background and life experiences, that does not mean that you shouldn't tailor the way you communicate to the person you are communicating with. I shouldn't have free reign to say whatever the hell pops into my head, even though I am tempted to VERY often. It comes down to empathy. Can I understand the other person enough to know how they feel and communicate and tailor my communication style to him or her? That is what's so great about really good shrinks. I talk very naturally and I am fairly emotional. At first my therapist would talk to me in matter of fact ways, but now understands that getting more personal with me is a way to get me to open up, past the brash and cocky me. She always referred to her boyfriend as her "spouse" or "significant other" even though she has mentioned his name many times and I know what it is. One day I had to tell her to call him by his name. Everything else sounds so impersonal and it just doesn't get through to me otherwise. Facts aren't a way into my emotional world or to convincing me. They might help, but in the end it's feeling. Point is that having empathy for whomever you're talking to is the key to being an effective communicator. Take your style and adapt. I had one woman tell me "well, that's not very nice" four times now (yeah, I count), after what I thought was just me being sarcastic and hilarious (which it was, of course). What do I get from that, other than that she's boring and doesn't get my humor? Okay, I'm half joking, but I was able to tell that maybe she's touchy and is likely to get her feelings hurt easily. I should chill on being too blunt and/or too sarcastic until I learn something new, at which time I tailor the way I communicate again. It's always a give and take and the learning never ends. Now there are others who I can be myself pretty comfortably around, but for a few subjects. That would mean that I should take note of those subjects and fight all my urges to breach them unless I feel it's really necessary. Maybe I'm way off base, but I really believe that if two people don't tailor their communication styles, I don't care what your backgrounds are, it's like two ships passing in the night. Figure out how the other person communicates and adapt. If either person is not willing to adapt in any relationship, friendship or otherwise, it is not going to work out and it's could be time to move on.
I've been very fortunate to have close friends that understand the way I communicate, whether I'm being very blunt or need to be told something very blunt in return. We've all had at least 12 years to refine our communication with one another though. Mostly them learning to adapt to me, considering I can be pretty in your face and overbearing at times and they are all a lot more reserved. As crude as I can be sometimes, I must be doing something right because I have three of the best friends that anyone can ask for. I guess I'm lucky like that. Empathy.
Mercury in Aries
Mercury in Aries communicators make quick decisions--so quick that you might think they don't much like thinking things over. The truth is, Aries communicators don't have a lot of patience for mulling. Their decisions are often driven by the need for instant gratification.
Mercury in Aries men and women are generally quick and to the point in their communications. They are direct and candid, and some may even think their style is crude at times. At times, they can come across as downright aggressive, but that usually happens when they encounter opposition to their opinions and ideas. It is generally a result of frustration, because Mercury in Aries almost childishly assumes that others will accept their opinions smoothly. There is a sensitivity and defensiveness to Aries, and when Mercury is placed in the sign, natives tend to be quite personally attached to their ideas.
These people have a tendency towards streamlined learning. They prefer not to get bogged down in details, and are adept at dismissing what they feel are irrelevant details.
There's a certain innocent charm to Aries communicators. Many will appreciate this sign's utilitarian approach. You can pretty much count on them being straight with you, even if their Sun Sign is the more indirect Pisces.
This Mercury position favors starting new things. Aries is not attached to outdated ideas, and generally adopts an enthusiastic style. Criticism or negative feedback can be taken personally. Still, they are not afraid of a fight or a challenge, on a mental level. They have a visionary intelligence that is sometimes on the idealistic side.
New projects and ideas are taken on with an unmatched enthusiasm with this position of Mercury. However, because there is no shortage of new ideas in life, Mercury in Aries natives can be quick to dump one mental pursuit, way of thinking, or opinion for something fresher and more exciting.
Mercury in Aries people are often excellent at promoting their new ideas. When they're excited about something, their style of communication can be so motivating and fun, the enthusiasm is downright infectious. Aries is a leader, quick to adopt absolutely new and innovative methods--they get a rise out of leading too!
If the Sun Sign is in Pisces or Taurus, these people can sometimes wonder why others get frustrated with them. The truth is, they may come across as more brusque and impatient than they actually are. Mercury in Aries natives make quick decisions, and they don't always understand it when others hedge issues or stay "on the fence"
Analysis
Recently, I was curious if an old ex was still in love with me. So, of course, I just ask. Wasn't quite the answer I hoped for, but the point is that if I want to know something I'm going to ask. Maybe it is instant gratification and is something I need to work on, but I can't keep questions looming in the back of my mind for very long.
Not only did I ask if she was still in love with me, but I asked some other personal questions regarding the last several months. None of my business in general, but I was jealous, felt the need to know, and acted. Whoops. Big mistake. So what did I take from this experience. Not everyone understands why I communicate the way I do and I should be more conscious of that. I'm rarely in situations where my style of communication comes across so badly that things go sour and can't recover, so I don't think about it much. Well, yesterday seemed like one of those times and while I'd love more practice knowing when I can blurt things out and when to be a little more reserved, the other party may not be so willing to partake in my "practice". Just another thing I need to be aware of. Note taken.
Streamline learning. Ask my dance instructor, any of my music teachers, people that try to teach me in general, I am not a fan of useless details. Get to the point. My dance instructor will have me doing the same steps over and over again to work on my muscle memory. The whole time I'm thinking, "Jesus woman, I can work on muscle memory on my own. Show me the fun stuff!". I do that often, but I should be more accepting of a person's style of teaching and let them teach what they're good at. If I did, maybe I wouldn't suck so much at all my hobbies...
I've gotten pretty good at accepting negative feedback. Being in debate in high school and college, feedback and constructive criticism where part of the game. The issue for me is not negative feedback, it's how the criticism is offered. There are some ways that people can talk to me that push my buttons, but I'm pretty good at accepting criticism overall.
I also pride myself in being able to motivate and excite when put in a leadership type position. The problem is finding things that excite me, but when I find it, I'm ready to go. I, unfortunately, have had very few leadership opportunities, which could explain my lack of motivation on a professional level. Several years ago I was put in a quasi leadership position and was gaining lots of respect. I then decided it wasn't for me and quit. Great experience though. I'd love to be a leader at something. Don't know if it's my ego or what, but I like the respect that comes along with a leadership position. Maybe, when all is said is done, that is all I really want from anyone that I communicate with. Respect.
The last paragraph showed itself in action yesterday. Not my best quality but, to me, having no real details of course, a decision that an old friend needs to make seemed simple and straight forward and I treated it as such. Well, it appears to be more difficult than I thought, which is a shame. No matter what I feel, I need to learn to be more accepting of a lot of things. Letting people make their own decisions regardless of what makes sense to me could be a start.
There are a lot of things about my communication style which I really like, but there are also many things that I don't. While I like that I get to the point, I sometimes don't like how I get there. I need to be a lot more conscious of the person I am speaking to and his/her communication style. While it may be true that people's communication style is learnt from their background and life experiences, that does not mean that you shouldn't tailor the way you communicate to the person you are communicating with. I shouldn't have free reign to say whatever the hell pops into my head, even though I am tempted to VERY often. It comes down to empathy. Can I understand the other person enough to know how they feel and communicate and tailor my communication style to him or her? That is what's so great about really good shrinks. I talk very naturally and I am fairly emotional. At first my therapist would talk to me in matter of fact ways, but now understands that getting more personal with me is a way to get me to open up, past the brash and cocky me. She always referred to her boyfriend as her "spouse" or "significant other" even though she has mentioned his name many times and I know what it is. One day I had to tell her to call him by his name. Everything else sounds so impersonal and it just doesn't get through to me otherwise. Facts aren't a way into my emotional world or to convincing me. They might help, but in the end it's feeling. Point is that having empathy for whomever you're talking to is the key to being an effective communicator. Take your style and adapt. I had one woman tell me "well, that's not very nice" four times now (yeah, I count), after what I thought was just me being sarcastic and hilarious (which it was, of course). What do I get from that, other than that she's boring and doesn't get my humor? Okay, I'm half joking, but I was able to tell that maybe she's touchy and is likely to get her feelings hurt easily. I should chill on being too blunt and/or too sarcastic until I learn something new, at which time I tailor the way I communicate again. It's always a give and take and the learning never ends. Now there are others who I can be myself pretty comfortably around, but for a few subjects. That would mean that I should take note of those subjects and fight all my urges to breach them unless I feel it's really necessary. Maybe I'm way off base, but I really believe that if two people don't tailor their communication styles, I don't care what your backgrounds are, it's like two ships passing in the night. Figure out how the other person communicates and adapt. If either person is not willing to adapt in any relationship, friendship or otherwise, it is not going to work out and it's could be time to move on.
I've been very fortunate to have close friends that understand the way I communicate, whether I'm being very blunt or need to be told something very blunt in return. We've all had at least 12 years to refine our communication with one another though. Mostly them learning to adapt to me, considering I can be pretty in your face and overbearing at times and they are all a lot more reserved. As crude as I can be sometimes, I must be doing something right because I have three of the best friends that anyone can ask for. I guess I'm lucky like that. Empathy.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Venus compatibility
Since I was doing the Venus report, I came across a theory that, while some people, myself included, compare Suns for compatibility it might be even better to look to Venus instead. I only knew to compare using the sun, but the venus actually makes more sense.
One thing my ex always told me is that we were always on different pages when it came to communication. She doesn't believe in this stuff at all. I find this more fun than anything, but I'm always up for funny coincidences. If only we were both more aware of how different our styles were, maybe things would have turned out differently. Probably not, but there's always the chance!
It doesn't say that we were not compatible, only that there is a lot figuring out to do. We would apparently have needed a ton of effort in that area because our communication styles are so different. I say there is no "apparently". We had to do it. We both have acknowledged that we just weren't on the same page. We have such different styles of communication that she felt like she was talking to a brick wall and I felt the same. I really try to learn this stuff as only a fun side hobby, but when there is such a parallel between a generic reading based on my sign and real life, it gets you thinking. At the very least it gives me perspective. It helps me put my feelings into words, when before it was so difficult. Unfortunately, it's a little too late now, but this was a pretty cool coincidence to stumble on.
One thing my ex always told me is that we were always on different pages when it came to communication. She doesn't believe in this stuff at all. I find this more fun than anything, but I'm always up for funny coincidences. If only we were both more aware of how different our styles were, maybe things would have turned out differently. Probably not, but there's always the chance!
How You Relate to a Partner with Venus in Pisces
How You Relate to a Partner with Venus in Pisces: The attraction can be intense at first, but your inherent differences in matters of the heart might get the better of your relationship in the long run. With understanding and patience, however, this partnership can be very rewarding. You are more than likely the one to take the lead in this relationship. Your partner can be somewhat shy and unsure with someone new, but very charming indeed. He or she has a dreamy quality that can be very enticing. But this very quality that hooks your interest in your partner in the first place, might get you impatient once the novelty fades away! Your partner's elusiveness and downright evasiveness stands in stark contrast to your style of expressing love—so much so that it could seem completely alien to you. You are direct and forthright with your partners, and usually appreciate the same in others. Your partner doesn't always seem very clear, and this confuses you. If the love is there, all that is needed is the understanding that you and your partner express love in distinctly different ways. As well, you should know that your lover enjoys understatement in romance. Your bluntness may be appreciated by less sensitive souls, but this one can find it difficult to understand. Your partner, in turn, should learn to appreciate knowing exactly where he or she stands with you! You have much to offer each other once you get past the matter of differing love "styles".
It doesn't say that we were not compatible, only that there is a lot figuring out to do. We would apparently have needed a ton of effort in that area because our communication styles are so different. I say there is no "apparently". We had to do it. We both have acknowledged that we just weren't on the same page. We have such different styles of communication that she felt like she was talking to a brick wall and I felt the same. I really try to learn this stuff as only a fun side hobby, but when there is such a parallel between a generic reading based on my sign and real life, it gets you thinking. At the very least it gives me perspective. It helps me put my feelings into words, when before it was so difficult. Unfortunately, it's a little too late now, but this was a pretty cool coincidence to stumble on.
Astrology Analysis of the Day: Venus
Venus is
My venus, like the majority of my signs in my natal astrology reading, is a fire sign, Aries.
If a woman were to want to make me happy, read my Venus, memorize my Venus, understand my Venus. It is sickeningly accurate.
I would actually say that this is 100% accurate about the way I approach emotional connection and love. I do understand that I am addicted to the conquest, which isn't the healthiest approach to finding a partner, especially after I have gotten what I was after. But my moon dictates my desire to have a partner after the conquest. I do get bored easily in relationships and hate things being stagnant. I absolutely LOVE spontaneity. But it has to continue throughout the relationship. At the beginning doesn't satisfy my need to keep things fresh.
If you ever talk to any woman that I have asked out in the last 8 years and asked them if I was "up-front, direct, and even daring" and if I tried "to win [her] over by expressing how enterprising and independent" I was, I would be fairly confident (99.99%) that they would all agree that that was me. Most women are receptive to me and I'd like to think I'm fairly successful with women because of my approach, but I said "most" women, not all. I recently asked a woman out who actually asked me if I believed in being a little more discreet when asking someone out. Can't win them all.
I want direct. Direct and honest communication and expression. When it comes to love, I don't like to mess around in this area. Made way too many mistakes going against my natural being by being closed and not direct. Someone wants to be with me? Don't make me pry it out of you. Tell me. I'll do one of 2 things. a) Let them know that I want the same thing as them or b) run like hell the other way. Either way, take a chance, be a little bold, my Venus is in Aries and I can take it.
My Mars, which is the physical manifestation of love, is also an Aries. My Mercury, which is my style of communication, is also an Aries. I have more fire traits than most that have their Sun in Aries. If I ever find a woman that wants to be with me, knowing this will be fair warning to her. I'm a handful. I'm also completely worth it.
the Goddess of Love. In Astrology, Venus has dual rulership over Libra and Taurus. As a result, Venus represents two main areas of our life: love and money.
"Love and money" is actually a simplistic interpretation of Venus. Venus rules our sentiments, what we value, and the pleasure we take in life. Grace, charm, and beauty are all ruled by Venus. Through Venus, we learn about our tastes, pleasures, artistic inclinations, and what makes us happy.
My venus, like the majority of my signs in my natal astrology reading, is a fire sign, Aries.
If a woman were to want to make me happy, read my Venus, memorize my Venus, understand my Venus. It is sickeningly accurate.
Venus in Aries
Venus in Aries people flirt by being up-front, direct, and even daring. They try to win you over by expressing how enterprising and independent they are. Their style of expressing love can be maddeningly "me"-centered, but the right person for them will find this approach charming. People get turned on by Venus in Aries' aura of innocent charm, even when they are being childish and impatient.
Venus in Aries men and women behave in a childlike, fun-loving manner in love. They are turned on by energy and activity. Turn-offs include a relationship that is considered stuffy or too "mature", vagueness, and beating around the bush. In love, Venus in Aries people are hopelessly addicted to the conquest. In order for a relationship to remain fresh and new for them, they require plenty of stimulation.
Pleasing Venus in Aries involves fueling their need for action. Be direct, open, and honest with them -- they won't much like game-playing or evasiveness, unless it is in the complete spirit of fun. Feed their need for spontaneity, and appreciate their playfulness. Understand their desire for the relationship to remain young and fresh. Aries likes to take the lead in love (even if their Sun Sign is gentle Pisces) -- let them, at least most of the time. Indulge them their many whims, and understand that they thrive on competition, even when they're competing with you!
My Personal Ad Bio: "I have a strong sense of adventure. I will win you over. I'm self-taught and self-sufficient."
Analysis
I would actually say that this is 100% accurate about the way I approach emotional connection and love. I do understand that I am addicted to the conquest, which isn't the healthiest approach to finding a partner, especially after I have gotten what I was after. But my moon dictates my desire to have a partner after the conquest. I do get bored easily in relationships and hate things being stagnant. I absolutely LOVE spontaneity. But it has to continue throughout the relationship. At the beginning doesn't satisfy my need to keep things fresh.
If you ever talk to any woman that I have asked out in the last 8 years and asked them if I was "up-front, direct, and even daring" and if I tried "to win [her] over by expressing how enterprising and independent" I was, I would be fairly confident (99.99%) that they would all agree that that was me. Most women are receptive to me and I'd like to think I'm fairly successful with women because of my approach, but I said "most" women, not all. I recently asked a woman out who actually asked me if I believed in being a little more discreet when asking someone out. Can't win them all.
I want direct. Direct and honest communication and expression. When it comes to love, I don't like to mess around in this area. Made way too many mistakes going against my natural being by being closed and not direct. Someone wants to be with me? Don't make me pry it out of you. Tell me. I'll do one of 2 things. a) Let them know that I want the same thing as them or b) run like hell the other way. Either way, take a chance, be a little bold, my Venus is in Aries and I can take it.
My Mars, which is the physical manifestation of love, is also an Aries. My Mercury, which is my style of communication, is also an Aries. I have more fire traits than most that have their Sun in Aries. If I ever find a woman that wants to be with me, knowing this will be fair warning to her. I'm a handful. I'm also completely worth it.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Astrology Analysis of the Day: Moon
The moon is:
Moon in Libra people have a strong need for partnership. Without someone to share their lives with, they feel utterly incomplete. This is why many people with this position get involved in marriages or living-together arrangements quite young.
Because this drive for harmony, peace, and sharing is so powerful, Lunar Librans are apt to do a lot of conceding. They are sympathetic and concerned for others, enjoy socializing, and revel in a good debate. Mental rapport with others is especially important to them.
Lunar Librans feel safe and secure when they are in a partnership. These are the people who seem to always need to have someone tag along with them wherever they go—even if it is to the corner store. They find strength and reinforcement in and through others.
Both men and women with this position are often quite charming. They can be very attractive to be around, and are often given to flirtatiousness. Rarely directly aggressive, these people win your heart with their gentle and refined ways.
Moon in Libra natives simply can't help but see flaws in their environment and their relationships. In fact, anything out of whack will bother them until it's fixed. Although diplomatic with acquaintances, when Moon in Libra natives argue with their long-standing partners, they rarely let up until they win. And, winning an argument is a Libran specialty—in fact, they may not even believe what they are saying, but will adopt all kinds of ideas just to get the last word. Living with Lunar Librans can sometimes feel like you are on trial, and Libra is the expert lawyer. Sometimes, though, Libra is defending you and supporting your point of view.
Lunar Librans' idealistic outlook and constant striving for the best, most harmonious lifestyle can lead to much discontent. Looking for that one (elusive) perfect way to lead their lives can detract from enjoyment of the moment.
Just like my taurus enjoys comfort, and as much as I am enjoying dating, I want a partner. I have been able to teach myself how to get along being alone, but it's not what I want. I wouldn't be comfortable at all being alone the rest of my life. And it isn't because I just don't like being alone, it's about wanting to share my experiences with one person. I am materialistic, but I feel best when giving things to someone I care about. As for living with someone while still young, does moving in with a girlfriend at 25 count as young?
It says that lunar libras do a lot of conceding and are peaceful and want harmony. Now, most that dated me would totally disagree because I love to argue, but I think this is a pretty accurate statement. I gave up a lot in my last relationship. I love to gamble. Gave it up. I enjoyed the occasional smoke. Gave it up. I loved a lot of things, and dealt for along time with the belief that things would work out if I kept "conceding". Well, conceding only led to bigger blow ups later. I have to fight my nature to finally understand that communicating your needs is a lot better than giving things up for the sake of keeping the peace.
All the women I have dated have needed to accept that I try to be charming all the time, to everyone. Young, old, skinny, big, it doesn't matter. I just enjoy women. Sometimes it can be considered flirting, but in my opinion, it's only flirting if you have some sort of physical intentions. Unfortunately, women I have been with don't know my intentions without asking. I can now control my flirting when I'm in a relationship, but it sure comes in handy when dating!
This next part is probably why things usually go south when I concede in my relationships.
So I concede, but I don't want to when it comes to relationships. But I do and it boils and I blow my lid. I absolutely notice when things aren't going well in a relationship and I hate ignoring the obvious. My problem though is letting things sit in order to keep the peace. I need to be better at trying to identify and fix problems as they happen, and not just "accept" them for now when you know it will just bother and eat away at me. I also need to be better at walking away. I think my moon in libra desire for partnership gets in the way of me knowing when to walk away if things aren't working.
And this is one of the most true things about my deepest desires that you can ever know about me. I'm trying to get over it. I used to want perfect. I wanted to be perfect myself. I do everything but am never satisfied at how good I am at even one thing. I play the piano and a good number of people would consider me, not great, but at least good. I should be happy that I at least know how to play the piano, but now I am so mad that my piano teachers didn't teach me theory and that I can only play the notes I read that I feel that I am just plain awful because I don't know how to write music or improvise. I've been playing the guitar for a year and a half. I feel like I should be jamming some sweet dave matthew or john mayer by now, but that is just unreasonable given how often I practice. I am learning to partner dance, I work out to stay in shape, and I want to be the best partner I can be to a special woman. The problem is I spread myself too thin. I want to be perfect, but no one is perfect. I used to have checklists of things I looked for in women, and I'm quickly learning that checklists are dumb.
Getting over my idealism and my desire for perfection is something that I work hard at every day. It takes away from the joy of learning how to play the guitar, deprives me from meeting new people because they don't meet my "checklist", the humor in the journey of badly dancing to not badly dancing, and the appreciation that my parents allowed me to have piano lessons so that I can at least read notes, play music, and have the opportunity to do more with music than most. Life is made up of countless moments and those are the things that matter. Perfection is not only unachievable, but boring. And boring sucks.
The Moon, in Astrology, is the ruler of Cancer. The Moon represents our deepest personal needs, our basic habits and reactions, and our unconscious.
Where the Sun acts, the Moon reacts. How do we instinctively react or respond to problems? What do we feel we need for a sense of security? Look to the Moon in your natal chart for answers.
Moon in Libra
Moon in Libra people have a strong need for partnership. Without someone to share their lives with, they feel utterly incomplete. This is why many people with this position get involved in marriages or living-together arrangements quite young.
Because this drive for harmony, peace, and sharing is so powerful, Lunar Librans are apt to do a lot of conceding. They are sympathetic and concerned for others, enjoy socializing, and revel in a good debate. Mental rapport with others is especially important to them.
Lunar Librans feel safe and secure when they are in a partnership. These are the people who seem to always need to have someone tag along with them wherever they go—even if it is to the corner store. They find strength and reinforcement in and through others.
Both men and women with this position are often quite charming. They can be very attractive to be around, and are often given to flirtatiousness. Rarely directly aggressive, these people win your heart with their gentle and refined ways.
Moon in Libra natives simply can't help but see flaws in their environment and their relationships. In fact, anything out of whack will bother them until it's fixed. Although diplomatic with acquaintances, when Moon in Libra natives argue with their long-standing partners, they rarely let up until they win. And, winning an argument is a Libran specialty—in fact, they may not even believe what they are saying, but will adopt all kinds of ideas just to get the last word. Living with Lunar Librans can sometimes feel like you are on trial, and Libra is the expert lawyer. Sometimes, though, Libra is defending you and supporting your point of view.
Lunar Librans' idealistic outlook and constant striving for the best, most harmonious lifestyle can lead to much discontent. Looking for that one (elusive) perfect way to lead their lives can detract from enjoyment of the moment.
Analysis
Just like my taurus enjoys comfort, and as much as I am enjoying dating, I want a partner. I have been able to teach myself how to get along being alone, but it's not what I want. I wouldn't be comfortable at all being alone the rest of my life. And it isn't because I just don't like being alone, it's about wanting to share my experiences with one person. I am materialistic, but I feel best when giving things to someone I care about. As for living with someone while still young, does moving in with a girlfriend at 25 count as young?
It says that lunar libras do a lot of conceding and are peaceful and want harmony. Now, most that dated me would totally disagree because I love to argue, but I think this is a pretty accurate statement. I gave up a lot in my last relationship. I love to gamble. Gave it up. I enjoyed the occasional smoke. Gave it up. I loved a lot of things, and dealt for along time with the belief that things would work out if I kept "conceding". Well, conceding only led to bigger blow ups later. I have to fight my nature to finally understand that communicating your needs is a lot better than giving things up for the sake of keeping the peace.
Both men and women with this position are often quite charming. They can be very attractive to be around, and are often given to flirtatiousness. Rarely directly aggressive, these people win your heart with their gentle and refined ways.
All the women I have dated have needed to accept that I try to be charming all the time, to everyone. Young, old, skinny, big, it doesn't matter. I just enjoy women. Sometimes it can be considered flirting, but in my opinion, it's only flirting if you have some sort of physical intentions. Unfortunately, women I have been with don't know my intentions without asking. I can now control my flirting when I'm in a relationship, but it sure comes in handy when dating!
This next part is probably why things usually go south when I concede in my relationships.
Moon in Libra natives simply can't help but see flaws in their environment and their relationships. In fact, anything out of whack will bother them until it's fixed. Although diplomatic with acquaintances, when Moon in Libra natives argue with their long-standing partners, they rarely let up until they win.
So I concede, but I don't want to when it comes to relationships. But I do and it boils and I blow my lid. I absolutely notice when things aren't going well in a relationship and I hate ignoring the obvious. My problem though is letting things sit in order to keep the peace. I need to be better at trying to identify and fix problems as they happen, and not just "accept" them for now when you know it will just bother and eat away at me. I also need to be better at walking away. I think my moon in libra desire for partnership gets in the way of me knowing when to walk away if things aren't working.
Lunar Librans' idealistic outlook and constant striving for the best, most harmonious lifestyle can lead to much discontent. Looking for that one (elusive) perfect way to lead their lives can detract from enjoyment of the moment.
And this is one of the most true things about my deepest desires that you can ever know about me. I'm trying to get over it. I used to want perfect. I wanted to be perfect myself. I do everything but am never satisfied at how good I am at even one thing. I play the piano and a good number of people would consider me, not great, but at least good. I should be happy that I at least know how to play the piano, but now I am so mad that my piano teachers didn't teach me theory and that I can only play the notes I read that I feel that I am just plain awful because I don't know how to write music or improvise. I've been playing the guitar for a year and a half. I feel like I should be jamming some sweet dave matthew or john mayer by now, but that is just unreasonable given how often I practice. I am learning to partner dance, I work out to stay in shape, and I want to be the best partner I can be to a special woman. The problem is I spread myself too thin. I want to be perfect, but no one is perfect. I used to have checklists of things I looked for in women, and I'm quickly learning that checklists are dumb.
Getting over my idealism and my desire for perfection is something that I work hard at every day. It takes away from the joy of learning how to play the guitar, deprives me from meeting new people because they don't meet my "checklist", the humor in the journey of badly dancing to not badly dancing, and the appreciation that my parents allowed me to have piano lessons so that I can at least read notes, play music, and have the opportunity to do more with music than most. Life is made up of countless moments and those are the things that matter. Perfection is not only unachievable, but boring. And boring sucks.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Astrology Analysis of the Day: Sun
The sun is
(The Sun is in Taurus from approximately April 20 to May 20, depending on the year).
There is something very solid about Taurus natives, no matter what the rest of their charts say about them. Though they are dependable most of the time, this generally shows itself more in habit than in outright helpfulness.
Taurus natives are sensual folk--and this includes sex, but extends to pleasures in all areas: they delight in the sensual pleasures of food, a comfortable blanket, a richly colored aquarium to look at, the smell of flowers or spring rain, pleasing melodies coming from their stereos, and so forth. Some might even say they live through their senses more than most.
When Taurus natives work, they work hard. They do it with a steadiness that may rarely be considered quick--rather it's a dependable, plodding, and steady effort that has its payoffs. Security is immensely important to Taurus--some of them actively seek wealth, while others are content to be "comfortable". The Taurus definition of "comfortable" may not be exactly the same as the rest of the signs, but comfort is definitely a driving force.
Although hard-working, their fixed and comfort-loving nature sometimes makes them appear lazy. This is only because they separate work and leisure so well. When they work, they work hard, and when they play, they don't really "play" as such...they relax. A Solar Taurus who has kicked his or her feet up is rooted there--you'd be hard-pressed to get them to move. On a mental level, you'll likely have the same problem. Taureans stick with things and ideas, and therein lies one of the reasons why they are known for their stubbornness. Taurus is a fixed sign, and they have a fair measure of tradition and steadiness in their make-up that keeps them rooted.
The possessiveness associated with Taurus shows up in all areas of life in some way. Taurus likes to own things (and sometimes people). A nice home, a piece of land (this can be modest), a paid-off car, that aquarium mentioned earlier, a couple pets, maybe a solid business...In love and relationship, there is an earthy kind of possessiveness that may be considered jealousy by some, but there is actually quite a difference between being possessive and being jealous. Taurus natives are rarely jealous and petty. They do, however, think of the people they love as theirs--it adds to their sense of security.
Sensual is right. I just like nice things. That first paragraph is pretty right on. The second as well. Those that know me, know that money is a (little too much of a) driving force in my life. Wanting wealth in order to give me the piece of mind that I desire. I want to be able to work at McDonalds and be able to make my bills if needed. And at this point, I probably could, but I'm working towards removing the probably.
The next paragraph is true as well. I definitely do work hard when I work and there is work to be done. I have been known to forget to eat and even hold off going to the bathroom until I fix a current problem. My playing is usually consisted of having a nice glass of wine and practicing the guitar. While some may think I "play" cards, I consider that a form of work that I really enjoy, but I do treat it as work. I don't really like to just sit there and bake in the sun though. And there is definitely a perception out there that I can be lazy, but when things need to get done, I can guarantee you I am far from lazy. As far as stubborn goes. Yeah. I was told that I believed everything that I read and then stuck with that idea. It's not that I believed everything, it is just that I agreed with what I read, formulated an opinion, and then stuck with that idea. I'm trying to be a lot more open to different ideas. I really am!
The last paragraph is true, but I am not really possessive over people and while I was jealous in my MUCH younger years, I have very much moved past that. Everything else though, yup. That's me. While people say that they write sign stuff as vague as possible for it to apply to most people, lots of these traits are pretty extreme and I don't see it applying to many of my friends at all. And so far, both my sun and rising sign have had some pretty extreme and accurate traits. Blunt? Materialistic? Hard working, but can be seen as lazy? Big talk, small follow through? It may be a coincidence, but my natal mapping gets worse. Next time we do the moon.
The Sun is our basic identity, and represents self-realization. When you are asked, "Who are you?", and you've passed your basic statistics and occupation, your answers will be a description of your Sun. The Sun also represents our overall vitality. The Sun directs us, and can be considered "the boss" of our chart.
Sun in Taurus
(The Sun is in Taurus from approximately April 20 to May 20, depending on the year).
There is something very solid about Taurus natives, no matter what the rest of their charts say about them. Though they are dependable most of the time, this generally shows itself more in habit than in outright helpfulness.
Taurus natives are sensual folk--and this includes sex, but extends to pleasures in all areas: they delight in the sensual pleasures of food, a comfortable blanket, a richly colored aquarium to look at, the smell of flowers or spring rain, pleasing melodies coming from their stereos, and so forth. Some might even say they live through their senses more than most.
When Taurus natives work, they work hard. They do it with a steadiness that may rarely be considered quick--rather it's a dependable, plodding, and steady effort that has its payoffs. Security is immensely important to Taurus--some of them actively seek wealth, while others are content to be "comfortable". The Taurus definition of "comfortable" may not be exactly the same as the rest of the signs, but comfort is definitely a driving force.
Although hard-working, their fixed and comfort-loving nature sometimes makes them appear lazy. This is only because they separate work and leisure so well. When they work, they work hard, and when they play, they don't really "play" as such...they relax. A Solar Taurus who has kicked his or her feet up is rooted there--you'd be hard-pressed to get them to move. On a mental level, you'll likely have the same problem. Taureans stick with things and ideas, and therein lies one of the reasons why they are known for their stubbornness. Taurus is a fixed sign, and they have a fair measure of tradition and steadiness in their make-up that keeps them rooted.
The possessiveness associated with Taurus shows up in all areas of life in some way. Taurus likes to own things (and sometimes people). A nice home, a piece of land (this can be modest), a paid-off car, that aquarium mentioned earlier, a couple pets, maybe a solid business...In love and relationship, there is an earthy kind of possessiveness that may be considered jealousy by some, but there is actually quite a difference between being possessive and being jealous. Taurus natives are rarely jealous and petty. They do, however, think of the people they love as theirs--it adds to their sense of security.
Analysis
Sensual is right. I just like nice things. That first paragraph is pretty right on. The second as well. Those that know me, know that money is a (little too much of a) driving force in my life. Wanting wealth in order to give me the piece of mind that I desire. I want to be able to work at McDonalds and be able to make my bills if needed. And at this point, I probably could, but I'm working towards removing the probably.
The next paragraph is true as well. I definitely do work hard when I work and there is work to be done. I have been known to forget to eat and even hold off going to the bathroom until I fix a current problem. My playing is usually consisted of having a nice glass of wine and practicing the guitar. While some may think I "play" cards, I consider that a form of work that I really enjoy, but I do treat it as work. I don't really like to just sit there and bake in the sun though. And there is definitely a perception out there that I can be lazy, but when things need to get done, I can guarantee you I am far from lazy. As far as stubborn goes. Yeah. I was told that I believed everything that I read and then stuck with that idea. It's not that I believed everything, it is just that I agreed with what I read, formulated an opinion, and then stuck with that idea. I'm trying to be a lot more open to different ideas. I really am!
The last paragraph is true, but I am not really possessive over people and while I was jealous in my MUCH younger years, I have very much moved past that. Everything else though, yup. That's me. While people say that they write sign stuff as vague as possible for it to apply to most people, lots of these traits are pretty extreme and I don't see it applying to many of my friends at all. And so far, both my sun and rising sign have had some pretty extreme and accurate traits. Blunt? Materialistic? Hard working, but can be seen as lazy? Big talk, small follow through? It may be a coincidence, but my natal mapping gets worse. Next time we do the moon.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Astrology Analysis of the Day: Rising Sign
I did this little chart of my signs based on my birthday, time of birth and place of birth and it gave me back all my signs in relation to my different stars and planets. For example, here is my rising sign. The rising sign or ascendent is
The world is filled with adventure, new things to experience, and, most of all, hope, with this Ascendant. There is an unmistakable faith and enthusiasm with Sagittarius rising people. Grand schemes, big promises, and a willingness to explore and experiment are themes, although follow-through is not a strong characteristic of Sagittarius.
These individuals are somewhat restless and often active people. They always seem to be looking for something that is just out of grasp -- and many do this their entire lives. They can be quite direct at times, yet they are likable enough to forgive for their faux-pas. Most have a lot to say and offer. Their insights and opinions are usually interesting and exciting, although sometimes lacking in details.
Sagittarius rising people have opinions about everything, and they just love telling others exactly what they are. Not all people with this position are outgoing folk, but they all have a way of moving about that at least exudes a certain level of confidence. Some might even call them naive or overly optimistic. Even the quiet ones don't shrink from life and from experience.
One of the most obvious and endearing traits of Sagittarius rising is their willingness to keep up a sense of humor. Even when they're feeling low, they manage to find humor in life and have fun with whatever they do have. The placement of Sagittarius' ruling planet, Jupiter, will give more clues to how they go about expressing themselves. Jupiter in Capricorn, for example, might give a more sarcastic approach, but underneath there lies an unmistakable hope and spirit for living.
Your Jupiter is in Leo, which suggests the great warmth, enthusiasm, heart, and generosity of spirit that infuses your expression. You love the color, drama, and celebration of life, and are gifted with a contagious confidence. Extravagance could be a temptation, for you cannot conceive of doing anything on a modest scale. Large plans and organizing major productions are your forte.
For those that know me, this is a pretty accurate description of me. Let's start with the statement:
I've been talking about my ideas and dreams to become rich and famous such as moving from self employment to an actual business owner, making it big in cards, and plenty of failed attempts at starting tech businesses. I started playing piano and the guitar, but never followed through with the necessary effort to become good. I'm trying to change that, but for now, that's where I stand.
And then there's:
Yesterday I was on the phone with one of the women I'm seeing and she says to me that, other than my body of course, she loves my sense of humor and that she hasn't stopped laughing since she's been out with me. Now there was a time that when I felt low, it was hard to get out of the slump. I don't know how accurate it is to say that, prior to a couple years ago, I found humor when I was in the shits. But now, there's almost always a bright side to things. I know what it's like to feel like you've hit rock bottom, and when things feel blah I always say things could be worse. Except when it comes to relationships... Then my moon really comes into play. But that is a later post.
And finally:
Confident? Maybe a little... Extravagance a temptation? It's not quite a temptation anymore.
The Ascendant defines, in part, the first impression we make on others in a personal rather than professional sense. It represents our physical appearance, our physical bodies and overall health, and the body ego. The Ascendant is often referred to as the mask we wear, although I don't consider it to be as superficial as this might suggest. What it does represent is our natural and personal defense mechanisms that we use to adapt to, and cope with, our environment.
Rising sign in Sagittarius
The world is filled with adventure, new things to experience, and, most of all, hope, with this Ascendant. There is an unmistakable faith and enthusiasm with Sagittarius rising people. Grand schemes, big promises, and a willingness to explore and experiment are themes, although follow-through is not a strong characteristic of Sagittarius.
These individuals are somewhat restless and often active people. They always seem to be looking for something that is just out of grasp -- and many do this their entire lives. They can be quite direct at times, yet they are likable enough to forgive for their faux-pas. Most have a lot to say and offer. Their insights and opinions are usually interesting and exciting, although sometimes lacking in details.
Sagittarius rising people have opinions about everything, and they just love telling others exactly what they are. Not all people with this position are outgoing folk, but they all have a way of moving about that at least exudes a certain level of confidence. Some might even call them naive or overly optimistic. Even the quiet ones don't shrink from life and from experience.
One of the most obvious and endearing traits of Sagittarius rising is their willingness to keep up a sense of humor. Even when they're feeling low, they manage to find humor in life and have fun with whatever they do have. The placement of Sagittarius' ruling planet, Jupiter, will give more clues to how they go about expressing themselves. Jupiter in Capricorn, for example, might give a more sarcastic approach, but underneath there lies an unmistakable hope and spirit for living.
Sagittarius Rising and Jupiter in Leo
Your Jupiter is in Leo, which suggests the great warmth, enthusiasm, heart, and generosity of spirit that infuses your expression. You love the color, drama, and celebration of life, and are gifted with a contagious confidence. Extravagance could be a temptation, for you cannot conceive of doing anything on a modest scale. Large plans and organizing major productions are your forte.
Analysis
For those that know me, this is a pretty accurate description of me. Let's start with the statement:
Grand schemes, big promises, and a willingness to explore and experiment are themes, although follow-through is not a strong characteristic of Sagittarius.
I've been talking about my ideas and dreams to become rich and famous such as moving from self employment to an actual business owner, making it big in cards, and plenty of failed attempts at starting tech businesses. I started playing piano and the guitar, but never followed through with the necessary effort to become good. I'm trying to change that, but for now, that's where I stand.
And then there's:
One of the most obvious and endearing traits of Sagittarius rising is their willingness to keep up a sense of humor. Even when they're feeling low, they manage to find humor in life and have fun with whatever they do have.
Yesterday I was on the phone with one of the women I'm seeing and she says to me that, other than my body of course, she loves my sense of humor and that she hasn't stopped laughing since she's been out with me. Now there was a time that when I felt low, it was hard to get out of the slump. I don't know how accurate it is to say that, prior to a couple years ago, I found humor when I was in the shits. But now, there's almost always a bright side to things. I know what it's like to feel like you've hit rock bottom, and when things feel blah I always say things could be worse. Except when it comes to relationships... Then my moon really comes into play. But that is a later post.
And finally:
You love the color, drama, and celebration of life, and are gifted with a contagious confidence. Extravagance could be a temptation, for you cannot conceive of doing anything on a modest scale.
Confident? Maybe a little... Extravagance a temptation? It's not quite a temptation anymore.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Astrology and love
I try not to believe in crazy things like astrology when it comes to things like deciding on a partner, but I lately started doing some readings on sign pairings and am now convinced that has been my problem all along. Over the last 9 years, I have dated a taurus, gemini, and 2 aries. Of the 4, I thought about marrying one aries and would have absolutely married the other maybe because I am a sucker for both beautiful and intelligent aries women. But according to the stars, I am awful with both the gemini and aries. The taurus is very iffy, despite the fact the relationship with the taurus was the absolute worst of the 4.
So I am going to try something new and only go out with Cancers, Pisces, Virgos and Capricorns. When I think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Of my best friends, 2 are Capricorns and one is a Cancer. I have known the three of them a combined 40+ years and we still talk often, even if it is not as often as I would like.
It is a bit funny that I am actually considering this, but if I want things to be different (read: I actually want a relationship to last), gotta change things up a bit. Sure, some people may find this stupid, or that I am possibly shorting myself, but hey, nothing else has worked. I know two women whom I find very attractive, physically, intellectually, etc, and both happen to be cancers. There are problems with actually dating either of them for some rather interesting reasons. (Other than they might not be interested, but that's just silly!) But that would fit right in with my style, because I am blessed with the worst timing when it comes to women. Oh well, you never know. Would the opportunity arrive, I'm in no rush this time. Rushing has been a big mistake for every one of my last 4 relationships and I don't plan on making the same mistake for the 5th time. I'm getting old, you know.
So pacing and signs. The complete opposite approach that I've ever tried when meeting women. Something has to change, right?
So I am going to try something new and only go out with Cancers, Pisces, Virgos and Capricorns. When I think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Of my best friends, 2 are Capricorns and one is a Cancer. I have known the three of them a combined 40+ years and we still talk often, even if it is not as often as I would like.
It is a bit funny that I am actually considering this, but if I want things to be different (read: I actually want a relationship to last), gotta change things up a bit. Sure, some people may find this stupid, or that I am possibly shorting myself, but hey, nothing else has worked. I know two women whom I find very attractive, physically, intellectually, etc, and both happen to be cancers. There are problems with actually dating either of them for some rather interesting reasons. (Other than they might not be interested, but that's just silly!) But that would fit right in with my style, because I am blessed with the worst timing when it comes to women. Oh well, you never know. Would the opportunity arrive, I'm in no rush this time. Rushing has been a big mistake for every one of my last 4 relationships and I don't plan on making the same mistake for the 5th time. I'm getting old, you know.
So pacing and signs. The complete opposite approach that I've ever tried when meeting women. Something has to change, right?
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