Astrology Analysis of the Day: Mercury

Today I'm gonna talk about my Mercury which is, to sum it up quickly, the way I communicate.

Mercury in Aries

Mercury in Aries communicators make quick decisions--so quick that you might think they don't much like thinking things over. The truth is, Aries communicators don't have a lot of patience for mulling. Their decisions are often driven by the need for instant gratification.

Mercury in Aries men and women are generally quick and to the point in their communications. They are direct and candid, and some may even think their style is crude at times. At times, they can come across as downright aggressive, but that usually happens when they encounter opposition to their opinions and ideas. It is generally a result of frustration, because Mercury in Aries almost childishly assumes that others will accept their opinions smoothly. There is a sensitivity and defensiveness to Aries, and when Mercury is placed in the sign, natives tend to be quite personally attached to their ideas.

These people have a tendency towards streamlined learning. They prefer not to get bogged down in details, and are adept at dismissing what they feel are irrelevant details.

There's a certain innocent charm to Aries communicators. Many will appreciate this sign's utilitarian approach. You can pretty much count on them being straight with you, even if their Sun Sign is the more indirect Pisces.

This Mercury position favors starting new things. Aries is not attached to outdated ideas, and generally adopts an enthusiastic style. Criticism or negative feedback can be taken personally. Still, they are not afraid of a fight or a challenge, on a mental level. They have a visionary intelligence that is sometimes on the idealistic side.

New projects and ideas are taken on with an unmatched enthusiasm with this position of Mercury. However, because there is no shortage of new ideas in life, Mercury in Aries natives can be quick to dump one mental pursuit, way of thinking, or opinion for something fresher and more exciting.

Mercury in Aries people are often excellent at promoting their new ideas. When they're excited about something, their style of communication can be so motivating and fun, the enthusiasm is downright infectious. Aries is a leader, quick to adopt absolutely new and innovative methods--they get a rise out of leading too!

If the Sun Sign is in Pisces or Taurus, these people can sometimes wonder why others get frustrated with them. The truth is, they may come across as more brusque and impatient than they actually are. Mercury in Aries natives make quick decisions, and they don't always understand it when others hedge issues or stay "on the fence"

Analysis

Recently, I was curious if an old ex was still in love with me. So, of course, I just ask. Wasn't quite the answer I hoped for, but the point is that if I want to know something I'm going to ask. Maybe it is instant gratification and is something I need to work on, but I can't keep questions looming in the back of my mind for very long.

Not only did I ask if she was still in love with me, but I asked some other personal questions regarding the last several months. None of my business in general, but I was jealous, felt the need to know, and acted. Whoops. Big mistake. So what did I take from this experience. Not everyone understands why I communicate the way I do and I should be more conscious of that. I'm rarely in situations where my style of communication comes across so badly that things go sour and can't recover, so I don't think about it much. Well, yesterday seemed like one of those times and while I'd love more practice knowing when I can blurt things out and when to be a little more reserved, the other party may not be so willing to partake in my "practice". Just another thing I need to be aware of. Note taken.

Streamline learning. Ask my dance instructor, any of my music teachers, people that try to teach me in general, I am not a fan of useless details. Get to the point. My dance instructor will have me doing the same steps over and over again to work on my muscle memory. The whole time I'm thinking, "Jesus woman, I can work on muscle memory on my own. Show me the fun stuff!". I do that often, but I should be more accepting of a person's style of teaching and let them teach what they're good at. If I did, maybe I wouldn't suck so much at all my hobbies...

I've gotten pretty good at accepting negative feedback. Being in debate in high school and college, feedback and constructive criticism where part of the game. The issue for me is not negative feedback, it's how the criticism is offered. There are some ways that people can talk to me that push my buttons, but I'm pretty good at accepting criticism overall.

I also pride myself in being able to motivate and excite when put in a leadership type position. The problem is finding things that excite me, but when I find it, I'm ready to go. I, unfortunately, have had very few leadership opportunities, which could explain my lack of motivation on a professional level. Several years ago I was put in a quasi leadership position and was gaining lots of respect. I then decided it wasn't for me and quit. Great experience though. I'd love to be a leader at something. Don't know if it's my ego or what, but I like the respect that comes along with a leadership position. Maybe, when all is said is done, that is all I really want from anyone that I communicate with. Respect.

The last paragraph showed itself in action yesterday. Not my best quality but, to me, having no real details of course, a decision that an old friend needs to make seemed simple and straight forward and I treated it as such. Well, it appears to be more difficult than I thought, which is a shame. No matter what I feel, I need to learn to be more accepting of a lot of things. Letting people make their own decisions regardless of what makes sense to me could be a start.

There are a lot of things about my communication style which I really like, but there are also many things that I don't. While I like that I get to the point, I sometimes don't like how I get there. I need to be a lot more conscious of the person I am speaking to and his/her communication style. While it may be true that people's communication style is learnt from their background and life experiences, that does not mean that you shouldn't tailor the way you communicate to the person you are communicating with. I shouldn't have free reign to say whatever the hell pops into my head, even though I am tempted to VERY often. It comes down to empathy. Can I understand the other person enough to know how they feel and communicate and tailor my communication style to him or her? That is what's so great about really good shrinks. I talk very naturally and I am fairly emotional. At first my therapist would talk to me in matter of fact ways, but now understands that getting more personal with me is a way to get me to open up, past the brash and cocky me. She always referred to her boyfriend as her "spouse" or "significant other" even though she has mentioned his name many times and I know what it is. One day I had to tell her to call him by his name. Everything else sounds so impersonal and it just doesn't get through to me otherwise. Facts aren't a way into my emotional world or to convincing me. They might help, but in the end it's feeling. Point is that having empathy for whomever you're talking to is the key to being an effective communicator. Take your style and adapt. I had one woman tell me "well, that's not very nice" four times now (yeah, I count), after what I thought was just me being sarcastic and hilarious (which it was, of course). What do I get from that, other than that she's boring and doesn't get my humor? Okay, I'm half joking, but I was able to tell that maybe she's touchy and is likely to get her feelings hurt easily. I should chill on being too blunt and/or too sarcastic until I learn something new, at which time I tailor the way I communicate again. It's always a give and take and the learning never ends. Now there are others who I can be myself pretty comfortably around, but for a few subjects. That would mean that I should take note of those subjects and fight all my urges to breach them unless I feel it's really necessary. Maybe I'm way off base, but I really believe that if two people don't tailor their communication styles, I don't care what your backgrounds are, it's like two ships passing in the night. Figure out how the other person communicates and adapt. If either person is not willing to adapt in any relationship, friendship or otherwise, it is not going to work out and it's could be time to move on.

I've been very fortunate to have close friends that understand the way I communicate, whether I'm being very blunt or need to be told something very blunt in return. We've all had at least 12 years to refine our communication with one another though. Mostly them learning to adapt to me, considering I can be pretty in your face and overbearing at times and they are all a lot more reserved. As crude as I can be sometimes, I must be doing something right because I have three of the best friends that anyone can ask for. I guess I'm lucky like that. Empathy.

Venus compatibility

Since I was doing the Venus report, I came across a theory that, while some people, myself included, compare Suns for compatibility it might be even better to look to Venus instead. I only knew to compare using the sun, but the venus actually makes more sense.

One thing my ex always told me is that we were always on different pages when it came to communication. She doesn't believe in this stuff at all. I find this more fun than anything, but I'm always up for funny coincidences. If only we were both more aware of how different our styles were, maybe things would have turned out differently. Probably not, but there's always the chance!

How You Relate to a Partner with Venus in Pisces

How You Relate to a Partner with Venus in Pisces: The attraction can be intense at first, but your inherent differences in matters of the heart might get the better of your relationship in the long run. With understanding and patience, however, this partnership can be very rewarding. You are more than likely the one to take the lead in this relationship. Your partner can be somewhat shy and unsure with someone new, but very charming indeed. He or she has a dreamy quality that can be very enticing. But this very quality that hooks your interest in your partner in the first place, might get you impatient once the novelty fades away! Your partner's elusiveness and downright evasiveness stands in stark contrast to your style of expressing love—so much so that it could seem completely alien to you. You are direct and forthright with your partners, and usually appreciate the same in others. Your partner doesn't always seem very clear, and this confuses you. If the love is there, all that is needed is the understanding that you and your partner express love in distinctly different ways. As well, you should know that your lover enjoys understatement in romance. Your bluntness may be appreciated by less sensitive souls, but this one can find it difficult to understand. Your partner, in turn, should learn to appreciate knowing exactly where he or she stands with you! You have much to offer each other once you get past the matter of differing love "styles".

It doesn't say that we were not compatible, only that there is a lot figuring out to do. We would apparently have needed a ton of effort in that area because our communication styles are so different. I say there is no "apparently". We had to do it. We both have acknowledged that we just weren't on the same page. We have such different styles of communication that she felt like she was talking to a brick wall and I felt the same. I really try to learn this stuff as only a fun side hobby, but when there is such a parallel between a generic reading based on my sign and real life, it gets you thinking. At the very least it gives me perspective. It helps me put my feelings into words, when before it was so difficult. Unfortunately, it's a little too late now, but this was a pretty cool coincidence to stumble on.

Astrology Analysis of the Day: Venus

Venus is

the Goddess of Love. In Astrology, Venus has dual rulership over Libra and Taurus. As a result, Venus represents two main areas of our life: love and money.

"Love and money" is actually a simplistic interpretation of Venus. Venus rules our sentiments, what we value, and the pleasure we take in life. Grace, charm, and beauty are all ruled by Venus. Through Venus, we learn about our tastes, pleasures, artistic inclinations, and what makes us happy.

My venus, like the majority of my signs in my natal astrology reading, is a fire sign, Aries.

If a woman were to want to make me happy, read my Venus, memorize my Venus, understand my Venus. It is sickeningly accurate.

Venus in Aries

Venus in Aries people flirt by being up-front, direct, and even daring. They try to win you over by expressing how enterprising and independent they are. Their style of expressing love can be maddeningly "me"-centered, but the right person for them will find this approach charming. People get turned on by Venus in Aries' aura of innocent charm, even when they are being childish and impatient.

Venus in Aries men and women behave in a childlike, fun-loving manner in love. They are turned on by energy and activity. Turn-offs include a relationship that is considered stuffy or too "mature", vagueness, and beating around the bush. In love, Venus in Aries people are hopelessly addicted to the conquest. In order for a relationship to remain fresh and new for them, they require plenty of stimulation.

Pleasing Venus in Aries involves fueling their need for action. Be direct, open, and honest with them -- they won't much like game-playing or evasiveness, unless it is in the complete spirit of fun. Feed their need for spontaneity, and appreciate their playfulness. Understand their desire for the relationship to remain young and fresh. Aries likes to take the lead in love (even if their Sun Sign is gentle Pisces) -- let them, at least most of the time. Indulge them their many whims, and understand that they thrive on competition, even when they're competing with you!

My Personal Ad Bio: "I have a strong sense of adventure. I will win you over. I'm self-taught and self-sufficient."

Analysis

I would actually say that this is 100% accurate about the way I approach emotional connection and love. I do understand that I am addicted to the conquest, which isn't the healthiest approach to finding a partner, especially after I have gotten what I was after. But my moon dictates my desire to have a partner after the conquest. I do get bored easily in relationships and hate things being stagnant. I absolutely LOVE spontaneity. But it has to continue throughout the relationship. At the beginning doesn't satisfy my need to keep things fresh.

If you ever talk to any woman that I have asked out in the last 8 years and asked them if I was "up-front, direct, and even daring" and if I tried "to win [her] over by expressing how enterprising and independent" I was, I would be fairly confident (99.99%) that they would all agree that that was me. Most women are receptive to me and I'd like to think I'm fairly successful with women because of my approach, but I said "most" women, not all. I recently asked a woman out who actually asked me if I believed in being a little more discreet when asking someone out. Can't win them all.

I want direct. Direct and honest communication and expression. When it comes to love, I don't like to mess around in this area. Made way too many mistakes going against my natural being by being closed and not direct. Someone wants to be with me? Don't make me pry it out of you. Tell me. I'll do one of 2 things. a) Let them know that I want the same thing as them or b) run like hell the other way. Either way, take a chance, be a little bold, my Venus is in Aries and I can take it.

My Mars, which is the physical manifestation of love, is also an Aries. My Mercury, which is my style of communication, is also an Aries. I have more fire traits than most that have their Sun in Aries. If I ever find a woman that wants to be with me, knowing this will be fair warning to her. I'm a handful. I'm also completely worth it.

Astrology Analysis of the Day: Moon

The moon is:

The Moon, in Astrology, is the ruler of Cancer. The Moon represents our deepest personal needs, our basic habits and reactions, and our unconscious.

Where the Sun acts, the Moon reacts. How do we instinctively react or respond to problems? What do we feel we need for a sense of security? Look to the Moon in your natal chart for answers.

Moon in Libra

Moon in Libra people have a strong need for partnership. Without someone to share their lives with, they feel utterly incomplete. This is why many people with this position get involved in marriages or living-together arrangements quite young.

Because this drive for harmony, peace, and sharing is so powerful, Lunar Librans are apt to do a lot of conceding. They are sympathetic and concerned for others, enjoy socializing, and revel in a good debate. Mental rapport with others is especially important to them.

Lunar Librans feel safe and secure when they are in a partnership. These are the people who seem to always need to have someone tag along with them wherever they go—even if it is to the corner store. They find strength and reinforcement in and through others.

Both men and women with this position are often quite charming. They can be very attractive to be around, and are often given to flirtatiousness. Rarely directly aggressive, these people win your heart with their gentle and refined ways.

Moon in Libra natives simply can't help but see flaws in their environment and their relationships. In fact, anything out of whack will bother them until it's fixed. Although diplomatic with acquaintances, when Moon in Libra natives argue with their long-standing partners, they rarely let up until they win. And, winning an argument is a Libran specialty—in fact, they may not even believe what they are saying, but will adopt all kinds of ideas just to get the last word. Living with Lunar Librans can sometimes feel like you are on trial, and Libra is the expert lawyer. Sometimes, though, Libra is defending you and supporting your point of view.

Lunar Librans' idealistic outlook and constant striving for the best, most harmonious lifestyle can lead to much discontent. Looking for that one (elusive) perfect way to lead their lives can detract from enjoyment of the moment.

Analysis

Just like my taurus enjoys comfort, and as much as I am enjoying dating, I want a partner. I have been able to teach myself how to get along being alone, but it's not what I want. I wouldn't be comfortable at all being alone the rest of my life. And it isn't because I just don't like being alone, it's about wanting to share my experiences with one person. I am materialistic, but I feel best when giving things to someone I care about. As for living with someone while still young, does moving in with a girlfriend at 25 count as young?

It says that lunar libras do a lot of conceding and are peaceful and want harmony. Now, most that dated me would totally disagree because I love to argue, but I think this is a pretty accurate statement. I gave up a lot in my last relationship. I love to gamble. Gave it up. I enjoyed the occasional smoke. Gave it up. I loved a lot of things, and dealt for along time with the belief that things would work out if I kept "conceding". Well, conceding only led to bigger blow ups later. I have to fight my nature to finally understand that communicating your needs is a lot better than giving things up for the sake of keeping the peace.

Both men and women with this position are often quite charming. They can be very attractive to be around, and are often given to flirtatiousness. Rarely directly aggressive, these people win your heart with their gentle and refined ways.

All the women I have dated have needed to accept that I try to be charming all the time, to everyone. Young, old, skinny, big, it doesn't matter. I just enjoy women. Sometimes it can be considered flirting, but in my opinion, it's only flirting if you have some sort of physical intentions. Unfortunately, women I have been with don't know my intentions without asking. I can now control my flirting when I'm in a relationship, but it sure comes in handy when dating!

This next part is probably why things usually go south when I concede in my relationships.

Moon in Libra natives simply can't help but see flaws in their environment and their relationships. In fact, anything out of whack will bother them until it's fixed. Although diplomatic with acquaintances, when Moon in Libra natives argue with their long-standing partners, they rarely let up until they win.

So I concede, but I don't want to when it comes to relationships. But I do and it boils and I blow my lid. I absolutely notice when things aren't going well in a relationship and I hate ignoring the obvious. My problem though is letting things sit in order to keep the peace. I need to be better at trying to identify and fix problems as they happen, and not just "accept" them for now when you know it will just bother and eat away at me. I also need to be better at walking away. I think my moon in libra desire for partnership gets in the way of me knowing when to walk away if things aren't working.

Lunar Librans' idealistic outlook and constant striving for the best, most harmonious lifestyle can lead to much discontent. Looking for that one (elusive) perfect way to lead their lives can detract from enjoyment of the moment.

And this is one of the most true things about my deepest desires that you can ever know about me. I'm trying to get over it. I used to want perfect. I wanted to be perfect myself. I do everything but am never satisfied at how good I am at even one thing. I play the piano and a good number of people would consider me, not great, but at least good. I should be happy that I at least know how to play the piano, but now I am so mad that my piano teachers didn't teach me theory and that I can only play the notes I read that I feel that I am just plain awful because I don't know how to write music or improvise. I've been playing the guitar for a year and a half. I feel like I should be jamming some sweet dave matthew or john mayer by now, but that is just unreasonable given how often I practice. I am learning to partner dance, I work out to stay in shape, and I want to be the best partner I can be to a special woman. The problem is I spread myself too thin. I want to be perfect, but no one is perfect. I used to have checklists of things I looked for in women, and I'm quickly learning that checklists are dumb.

Getting over my idealism and my desire for perfection is something that I work hard at every day. It takes away from the joy of learning how to play the guitar, deprives me from meeting new people because they don't meet my "checklist", the humor in the journey of badly dancing to not badly dancing, and the appreciation that my parents allowed me to have piano lessons so that I can at least read notes, play music, and have the opportunity to do more with music than most. Life is made up of countless moments and those are the things that matter. Perfection is not only unachievable, but boring. And boring sucks.