Mercury in Aries
Mercury in Aries communicators make quick decisions--so quick that you might think they don't much like thinking things over. The truth is, Aries communicators don't have a lot of patience for mulling. Their decisions are often driven by the need for instant gratification.
Mercury in Aries men and women are generally quick and to the point in their communications. They are direct and candid, and some may even think their style is crude at times. At times, they can come across as downright aggressive, but that usually happens when they encounter opposition to their opinions and ideas. It is generally a result of frustration, because Mercury in Aries almost childishly assumes that others will accept their opinions smoothly. There is a sensitivity and defensiveness to Aries, and when Mercury is placed in the sign, natives tend to be quite personally attached to their ideas.
These people have a tendency towards streamlined learning. They prefer not to get bogged down in details, and are adept at dismissing what they feel are irrelevant details.
There's a certain innocent charm to Aries communicators. Many will appreciate this sign's utilitarian approach. You can pretty much count on them being straight with you, even if their Sun Sign is the more indirect Pisces.
This Mercury position favors starting new things. Aries is not attached to outdated ideas, and generally adopts an enthusiastic style. Criticism or negative feedback can be taken personally. Still, they are not afraid of a fight or a challenge, on a mental level. They have a visionary intelligence that is sometimes on the idealistic side.
New projects and ideas are taken on with an unmatched enthusiasm with this position of Mercury. However, because there is no shortage of new ideas in life, Mercury in Aries natives can be quick to dump one mental pursuit, way of thinking, or opinion for something fresher and more exciting.
Mercury in Aries people are often excellent at promoting their new ideas. When they're excited about something, their style of communication can be so motivating and fun, the enthusiasm is downright infectious. Aries is a leader, quick to adopt absolutely new and innovative methods--they get a rise out of leading too!
If the Sun Sign is in Pisces or Taurus, these people can sometimes wonder why others get frustrated with them. The truth is, they may come across as more brusque and impatient than they actually are. Mercury in Aries natives make quick decisions, and they don't always understand it when others hedge issues or stay "on the fence"
Analysis
Recently, I was curious if an old ex was still in love with me. So, of course, I just ask. Wasn't quite the answer I hoped for, but the point is that if I want to know something I'm going to ask. Maybe it is instant gratification and is something I need to work on, but I can't keep questions looming in the back of my mind for very long.
Not only did I ask if she was still in love with me, but I asked some other personal questions regarding the last several months. None of my business in general, but I was jealous, felt the need to know, and acted. Whoops. Big mistake. So what did I take from this experience. Not everyone understands why I communicate the way I do and I should be more conscious of that. I'm rarely in situations where my style of communication comes across so badly that things go sour and can't recover, so I don't think about it much. Well, yesterday seemed like one of those times and while I'd love more practice knowing when I can blurt things out and when to be a little more reserved, the other party may not be so willing to partake in my "practice". Just another thing I need to be aware of. Note taken.
Streamline learning. Ask my dance instructor, any of my music teachers, people that try to teach me in general, I am not a fan of useless details. Get to the point. My dance instructor will have me doing the same steps over and over again to work on my muscle memory. The whole time I'm thinking, "Jesus woman, I can work on muscle memory on my own. Show me the fun stuff!". I do that often, but I should be more accepting of a person's style of teaching and let them teach what they're good at. If I did, maybe I wouldn't suck so much at all my hobbies...
I've gotten pretty good at accepting negative feedback. Being in debate in high school and college, feedback and constructive criticism where part of the game. The issue for me is not negative feedback, it's how the criticism is offered. There are some ways that people can talk to me that push my buttons, but I'm pretty good at accepting criticism overall.
I also pride myself in being able to motivate and excite when put in a leadership type position. The problem is finding things that excite me, but when I find it, I'm ready to go. I, unfortunately, have had very few leadership opportunities, which could explain my lack of motivation on a professional level. Several years ago I was put in a quasi leadership position and was gaining lots of respect. I then decided it wasn't for me and quit. Great experience though. I'd love to be a leader at something. Don't know if it's my ego or what, but I like the respect that comes along with a leadership position. Maybe, when all is said is done, that is all I really want from anyone that I communicate with. Respect.
The last paragraph showed itself in action yesterday. Not my best quality but, to me, having no real details of course, a decision that an old friend needs to make seemed simple and straight forward and I treated it as such. Well, it appears to be more difficult than I thought, which is a shame. No matter what I feel, I need to learn to be more accepting of a lot of things. Letting people make their own decisions regardless of what makes sense to me could be a start.
There are a lot of things about my communication style which I really like, but there are also many things that I don't. While I like that I get to the point, I sometimes don't like how I get there. I need to be a lot more conscious of the person I am speaking to and his/her communication style. While it may be true that people's communication style is learnt from their background and life experiences, that does not mean that you shouldn't tailor the way you communicate to the person you are communicating with. I shouldn't have free reign to say whatever the hell pops into my head, even though I am tempted to VERY often. It comes down to empathy. Can I understand the other person enough to know how they feel and communicate and tailor my communication style to him or her? That is what's so great about really good shrinks. I talk very naturally and I am fairly emotional. At first my therapist would talk to me in matter of fact ways, but now understands that getting more personal with me is a way to get me to open up, past the brash and cocky me. She always referred to her boyfriend as her "spouse" or "significant other" even though she has mentioned his name many times and I know what it is. One day I had to tell her to call him by his name. Everything else sounds so impersonal and it just doesn't get through to me otherwise. Facts aren't a way into my emotional world or to convincing me. They might help, but in the end it's feeling. Point is that having empathy for whomever you're talking to is the key to being an effective communicator. Take your style and adapt. I had one woman tell me "well, that's not very nice" four times now (yeah, I count), after what I thought was just me being sarcastic and hilarious (which it was, of course). What do I get from that, other than that she's boring and doesn't get my humor? Okay, I'm half joking, but I was able to tell that maybe she's touchy and is likely to get her feelings hurt easily. I should chill on being too blunt and/or too sarcastic until I learn something new, at which time I tailor the way I communicate again. It's always a give and take and the learning never ends. Now there are others who I can be myself pretty comfortably around, but for a few subjects. That would mean that I should take note of those subjects and fight all my urges to breach them unless I feel it's really necessary. Maybe I'm way off base, but I really believe that if two people don't tailor their communication styles, I don't care what your backgrounds are, it's like two ships passing in the night. Figure out how the other person communicates and adapt. If either person is not willing to adapt in any relationship, friendship or otherwise, it is not going to work out and it's could be time to move on.
I've been very fortunate to have close friends that understand the way I communicate, whether I'm being very blunt or need to be told something very blunt in return. We've all had at least 12 years to refine our communication with one another though. Mostly them learning to adapt to me, considering I can be pretty in your face and overbearing at times and they are all a lot more reserved. As crude as I can be sometimes, I must be doing something right because I have three of the best friends that anyone can ask for. I guess I'm lucky like that. Empathy.
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